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I live in a nice town, and a lot of the kids I go to school with dress nicely – in name brand clothes. My parents both have really good jobs, and we could afford to buy name brand things, but they “don’t believe in it”. They say that since I am still growing, it doesn't make sense to buy expensive clothes. We go on nice vacations many times a year, live in a nice house and take expensive lessons, but I just really want the name brand clothes. Right now, I don’t feel like I fit in. Please don’t take my parents’ side. I know it shouldn't make a difference what I wear, but it does!
Josh in California
Wow! We would tell you to talk to your parents, but it sounds as if that will likely not work. Many times,parents feel as if their kids are incapable of making decisions, but we know that is not true. Perhaps you can try writing them a letter to explain your feelings. Sometimes this allows you to say what you feel without getting emotional. Your parents may “hear” your message better that way. Also, you could offer to earn money to buy your own name brand clothes. Devise a realistic plan, and be prepared to present that to your parents. They will likely be impressed with the thought and time you put into it. Lastly, you might try employing the help of an adult who may agree with your position. "Aunt Julie" or "Grandma Elaine" might be good resources. We are confident that you will see a positive result with a strategic plan! Good luck!
My name is Sam, and I am ten years old. I have been sitting with the same friends at lunch since the beginning of the school year, but everyone wants to move to a different table – leaving me to decide where to sit. I like all of my friends, and I do not want to be forced to choose, but I don’t want to sit by myself either. What should I do?
Sad Sam in Mississippi
Dear Sad Sam,
I am sure you do not like this feeling of being “in the middle”, but it seems as though your friends are putting you in that position anyway. Can you ask one of the members of
the group what happened to cause your friends to want to play musical chairs at lunch?Perhaps you could (with the help of a parent or guardian) plan a meeting outside of school to try to determine what, if anything, is wrong. Sometimes though, people grow apart because of changing interests. That is completely normal, so don’t be too worried. Some members of the group may want to “branch out” and meet new friends. If this is the case, this could be a great thing for you. Rather than choosing which friends to sit with, maybe you could switch seats every other day or once a week. If this is against school policy, maybe you could petition to change it. If not, choose to sit with the friends that you have the most in common with. It is likely that those friendships will endure in the long run, but keep a positive relationship with all members of the group. You might explain to those that you chose not to sit with that your decision was based on the fact that you and the person you chose to sit with share a common interest. Be sure to maintain contact with all members of the group, though – either inside or outside of school. That way no one’s feelings get hurt. This “dilemma” might actually be in your best interest after all! Good luck, and keep positive! NEI